“SELF-CONTROL”
Having learned the value of enthusiasm; we also learned how to generate enthusiasm and transmit the influence to others, which could be achieved through the principle of suggestion.

Now, we come to the study of SELF-CONTROL which is what we needed to direct the enthusiasm to constructive ends. I want you to have this in mind, without SELF-CONTROL, enthusiasm will resemble the unharnessed lightning of an electrical storm, which may strike anywhere, and definitely may destroy lives and properties.

Enthusiasm stands as a vital force that arouses you to action, while SELF-CONTROL is the balance wheel that directs your action to enable it to build up instead of tearing down.

Your enthusiasm and SELF-CONTROL must be equalized to be a well-balanced person. A recent study of young men and women who found themselves in various prisons indicated that they languish in prison basically because they lack adequate SELF-CONTROL to direct their energies constructively.

Note that, a survey about those whom the world calls great indicates that every one of them possesses this quality called “self-control” so; neglecting to exercise SELF-CONTROL will not only injure others but you also.

We will illustrate how to apply SELF-CONTROL and how it will benefit whoever is a master of such. A certain man who happens to be a victim of not controlling himself properly approached a nearby city store and saw some women lined up with frowned faces and these women were throwing abuse and whole lots of foul words to the store attendants who happened also to be a woman.

The most astonishing thing is that this storekeeper wore a steady smile on her face not even minding the abuses and was directing the aggressive women to where their problems would be solved in such a polite and friendly manner.

Funny enough, the smiling woman at the desk who was hearing the complaints was a DEAF PERSON. Her assistant supplies her with all the necessary facts through some slips of paper.

The man who once lacked self-control was so impressed with the plan, that he sought the manager of the store and decided to interview him. The manager disclosed that the reason for selecting a deaf person for the position is that, he had not been able to find any other person with sufficient “self-control” to fill the position.

As the man who lacked “self-control” stood and watched the line of angry women, he observed the pleasant effect the smile on the young deaf lady at the desk had upon the lined-up angry women. The angry women came before the deaf lady growling like dogs and went away as meek and quiet as sheep.

Some of the lined-up angry women had sheepish looks on their faces as they left, because, the young deaf woman had SLEF-CONTROL that made them became ashamed of themselves. So, any time you feel yourself becoming irritated at remarks that you do not like, think about the poise and SELF-CONTROL of this deaf woman mentioned above.

I think everybody should have a kind of “mental ear muffs” that they could slip over their ears at times. I have developed the habit of closing my ears against much of the idle chatter such as I used to make it my business before.

This is because life is too short and there is too much constructive work to be done to justify us rather than striking back at everyone who happens to say that which we do not wish to hear.

Take note of this: all people who refuse or neglect to exercise SELF-CONTROL are unknowingly turning opportunity after opportunity away without knowing it. To be able to attract the right opportunity to your career job or talent, you have to be a person gladdened with great SELF-CONTROL.

One day in my little country town, I approached a small store that sells articles and a young lady and her mother were attending to friends. I demanded for recharge card to get my phone recharged.

As I stood there requesting the card, both the lady and her mother showed no interest in my demand. The mother was busy discussing with a friend or so, while the young lady stood there pretending not to hear me.

I stood there for almost five minutes before the mother finally asked me: what do you want to buy? I told her I wanted to buy a recharge card. She kept quiet again for almost three minutes before replying to me in the same manner as before. Heard her as she said; “I do not have it” I left in an unhappy mood immediately.

And this could tell the reason why for years this store finds it difficult to expand. They could have made a friend of every person whom they served in that store, and these friends could have made them one of the most valuable people in the store, because, they would have come back to trade with them.
NOTE THIS: a snappy answer to inquiring customers does not bring them back.

Now, it is time to examine the scope of meaning of the term SELF-CONTROL as it is used in connection with this article, this we should do by describing the general conduct of a person who possesses it. An individual with well-developed SELF-CONTROL should not indulge in the following: ==
⦁ Do not indulge in HATRED
⦁ Do not indulge in ENVY
⦁ Do not indulge in JEALOUSY
⦁ Do not indulge in FEAR
⦁ Do not indulge in REVENGE or any similar destructive emotions or negative behavioural attitude.

Unlike what is obtainable in our local communities, a well-developed SELF-CONTROL person does not go into ecstasies or become ungovernably enthusiastic over anything or anybody in any format negative or positive towards existence.

In its most dangerous forms are greed selfishness and self-approval which go beyond the point of accurate self-analysis and appreciation of the actual merits of individuals.

Though SELF-CONTROL is one of the important factors of success, yet when this faculty is developed beyond the point of reason it becomes more dangerous than we think.

Individuals who exercise “self-sacrifice“ which is a commendable quality are said to have tried, but when it is carried to extremes, it eventually becomes one of the dangerous forms of lack of this SELF-CONTROL. Everybody owes it to him/herself not to easily permit your emotions to help in placing your happiness in the hands or keeping of another person.

Though we all know that love is essential for happiness, remember that the person who loves deeply had his happiness entirely placed in the hands of another, and resembles the little lamb who crept into the den of a gentle nice lion and begged to be permitted to have a sleep.

So, a person with SELF-CONTROL will never hate those who do not agree with him; rather, he will try to understand the reason for their disagreement and finally try to profit from it. This will take us to the next LESSON still on SELF-CONTROL but in the form of SELF-CONTROL that causes grief.

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DICTIONARY MEANING OF SOME WORDS AND PHRASES USED:

— languish: >> (to exist in an unwanted or unpleasant situation, often for a long time)

— Constructive: >> (if actions and criticism are constructive, they are useful and intended to help achieve something)

— Aggressive: >> (behaving angrily or unpleasantly towards persons)

— Polite: >> (behaving in a way that is socially correct and shows an understanding of care for other people and their individual feelings)

— Sufficient: >> (enough for a particular purpose)

— Sheepish: >> (embarrassed because you know you have done something wrong or silly)

— “mental ear muff” (ability to take your ears off any distracting statement towards what you are doing or a purpose you are pursuing in life)

— Snappy: >> (brief and prompt)

— Behavioral: >> (relating to behaviour)

— Ecstasies: >> (a state of extreme happiness, especially when feeling pleasure)

— Analysis: >> (used when you analyze something)